Gurl Par-tay

~~ Originally printed in The Chapel Hill (NC) Weekly, June 2012 ~~

We’ve got a house full of girls. It’s a small house, too, so Caleb is seriously outnumbered. The prevailing odors around here are that of nail polish remover, Britney Spear’s “Fantasy” perfume, fruity gum, microwave popcorn, Veet®, and Bath & Body Works “Be Enchanted” lotion. Our television has played countless hours of Dance MomsToddlers in Tiaras, and Say Yes to the Dress, but Caleb has to set his alarm for 2 a.m. if he wants to catch an episode of River Monsters. Laundry baskets overflow with bras and thongs. Sanitary items fill the bathroom cabinets. The majority of accessories and linens and miscellany are pink. Or lilac.

And yet, on occasion, just to make it official I find it necessary to declare a girls’ night. We take over the living room with Hilary Duff, Cheetah Girls, and Beyoncé; do-it-yourself henna tattoos and mani pedis and makeovers; a good chick flick, a big attitude, and lots of Doritos, M&Ms, and horrifying snack cakes – just for good measure. Hey, there’s a night in when all the womenfolk  will be home, while Caleb enjoys his last night at Camp Kanata. The perfect night for female bonding!

We’ll have Domino’s cheesy bread and decorate a friendship cake. Enjoy salt and vinegar chips, chocolate ice cream, Dr. Pepper, and Butterfingers to round things out. Do our hair and nails and makeup and tattoo each other with Sanskrit designs and butterflies. Blast Rihanna and Kelly Clarkson and Carly Rae Jepsen. DVDs are on the way: Mean GirlsFlashdance, andThe Notebook. I invited my mom. We’ll probably stay up half the night.

The next morning, though, I’ll put the girls to work getting the house back in order so I can head to Wake Forest to pick Caleb up from camp. It will be great to see him and hear all about his boy adventures over the last two weeks: dodge ball and archery and riflery and swimming and bonfires. Hoo ha ha. I’m sure it’s been awesome. I wonder if the other guys gave him a hard time over his lavender sheets.

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